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His head wavered in a gobsmacked shake. He read my mind. I can’t believe this is happening.I used to think that virginity was something that had to be savoured until marriage. That’s just the way it went when I was young but now that I’ve grown up and found this new dimension of myself, the marriage doesn’t matter. Neither does the wedding, reception or nuptuals. It’s the person. Only the person. Not the world around you, not the cars going by. Sometimes it’s just you and him and the rain. That’s how I felt that day.I hung up the phone, pretending things were normal. ‘Dad said he’ll be another hour. And I told him that I’ll get sommore shopping done but I think I’m skint!’‘Well, Jude, maybe we can spend time together that will be a Chrimbo present for you. Want to leave?’Thumpthumpthumpbzzzbzzzbzzz goes my heart again. ‘Of course. I’m baking in here it’s getting much too hot.’ We left, our fingers gently yet tightly interweaving. It felt so damn good to have a man hold my hand. I. .. well ... happiness.What happened was that she lost faith in her own philosophy, and she tried to undo everything. Or at least stop it in its tracks.And that didn’t go well for Brinn.He didn’t get in any more fights, and he didn’t get kicked out of school again, but by Christmas break, when grade reports came out, he was failing in three classes and his only other grades were a D and two Cs. He’d always been a straight A student. All of us had. I think it was that grade report that finally got through to Mom. She looked at it and finally realized something horrible had happened.They spent an hour in his bedroom alone. I don’t know what was said. Neither of them has ever been willing to talk about that. And I don’t think it’s because of what was actually said. I think it’s because, when they came out of that bedroom, the bad time was over. Brinn was crying, but the first thing he did was come hug me, and then he dragged me to Shannon, whose mouth was hanging open. She looked scared,.
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